Today's Lesson in Why You Shouldn't Annoy Your Friends

Well, I was driving with one of my friends and his girlfriend, as is often the case, and we pull up for petrol. He gets out of the car and notices a spider on the door, on of those really ugly ones. Once the door is opened, the spider crawls into the gap between car and door. After frantic searching, we find the spider in the crack and coax it out. (close the door.) I then coax it of the door, (brush it with a stick) and we fill up with petrol.
I go to get in the car, but my friend tells me to stay out and direct him over the spider. It takes a couple of tries, but eventually the spider is squished with half a ton of metal, making a satisying crunching sound and leaving some goo. The amusing thing was that even though he had his girlfriend there, I was the one being 'brave' and doing what had to be done.
The moral of this story: Unless you want to end up as goo, be nice to your friends

Today's Lesson in How to Break Promises

Well when I started this blog I promised myself that I wouldn't use it as a place to rant but I figured hey, it's the New Year, the time in which promises are broken, (it may be cynical, but it's accurate) so here's my new year's rant:

So I get invited to a New Year's Eve party hosted by someone I've only met once before, which is just as well, because the 'friends' who I was originally going to spend New Year's with didn't invite me. (but that's a rant for later) I get there and get to know these people better and give them a chance to re-evaluate their opinions of me. All goes well despite the police turning up to check our fire twirling, which is nothing new, and the New Year comes around with only a possible minor hitch.
But somehow the start of the New Year brings about a sudden change where in the space of a couple of hours all hell breaks loose. People start helping other people home and not only not tell anyone but then get lost, people decide to run to India, people almost start punching on with other people, all that kind of insane stuff.
Now here's the crux of my rant: Am I the only person who can drink alcohol and still retain my friggin wits? I mean I know this sounds horribly pretentious of me and you all think I'm a dirty rotten liar, but it seems to be the truth. I cannot envisage any state of drunkenness where I could consider it feasible to run to India. I've done geography and there are these things called oceans which are hard to run across unless you happen to be Jesus bloody Christ. So how can someone find it in their minds that India is within running distance? I mean not only did he think that he could run to India, but we had to physically restrain him from trying. Which brings up another question: How can someone so drunk they think they can run to India actually be able to run? It perplexes me.

Well that about sums up my New Year's festivities and although the above may make it sound like it sucked, it was actually one of the most enjoyable I've had in recent years.
{end rant}